bloggers and blogging

so.....one night i was really bored.....and with only my blog and ryan's blog to read.....i decided to take advantage of the "next blog" feature in the top right hand corner......

and all i gots to say is......there are some pretty messed up blogs out there......TONS of advertisements.....TONS of blogs in different languages.....

and hell, i was bored......

so in browsing the blogs, i did come across some that were actually kinda cool.....made me laugh.....and made me not feel so alone with stuff that i'm been thinking.....y'know, the dark stuff......

AND it was kinda funny that there were even porno blogs i found.....*chuckles*.......i swear......anything to make a buck......

i also got ideas for my sidebar over there ->.....figured out how to change the titles and add a box for my favorite posts.......it's so much easier to reference my blog now......instead of have people go through the whole archive where i just want them to read a certain blog......i can link it in the sidebar and i just tell them the title......FINALLY i figured it....

i'm not the kind of person who asks questions when it comes to myself.....if i have a problem or something that i have a question about, instead of asking.....i try to figure it out myself......

BUT if it's something dealing with someone else, like if someone asked me a question.....and i didn't know the answer......i'd ask someone for help......

which brings me to a point......(you know i'd eventually get there)......i've noticed that when it comes down to it......there are people out there willing to sacrafice themselves for the sake of others, BUT will hardly ever sacrafice themselves for the sake of themselves......

like the helping myself vs helping others that i just mentioned......i could take days trying to figure something out (like reading HTML code) on my own, instead of asking someone......but if someone asked me how to read it and i didn't know how......i would try and ask someone for help......

it's as if i were ashamed to ask for help for myself......but i would be totally comfortable asking for help for another person......

and yes......you can say it's the pride kickin in.....

i also think about an episode of HOUSE where dr. house had a choice of either cutting off his leg to save his life.....or retain his leg and let the poisons of muscle death attack his heart and kill him......

he refused to have his leg amputated......and his "girl" at the time asked him if he would he give up HIS leg to save HER life......and without hesitation, he said he would......than she asked him why he thought HIS life was worth any less than hers.....

and it made me think......about the whole "sacrafice for others and not ourselves"......i guess it could basically come down to pride and selfishness......

and now that i read this......i have no idea where i'm going with it......so i'm going to stop now......maybe it's that whole "destiny" thing typing again and i have no control over it......and reading back on THAT post......i was definately talking out my ass......lol