Fort Lauderdale Trip Part 3

May 31
tuesday......morning comes and bryan and i are supposed to go to this "timeshare" thing for about an hour or so long......i told bryan on saturday that i would go with him......but now that the day arrived, i wasn't up for it.......byran wanted to go so he could get gift certificates to the olive garden.....so he went by himself......and i stayed behind to do a little bit of cleaning......

i finished cleaning my side of the room......i dare not touch bryan's stuff......even if it's on the floor or his bed is a mess.......he didn't even put his bed back in the couch......and i didn't wanna touch it......bryan is one of those people who doesn't like any of his things touched or moved or picked up.......so i just left it.......after i finished cleaning, i decided to turn on some music, light my candle and read a bit......and wait for bryan to come back......i was reading my book when bryan came yelling thru the door asking what size shoe i wear.......and i told him......and he said it wanted to know so he could get my some fins for the Bahama Mama Calypso Cruise we agreed to go on with rebecca and jake......then he bryan said forget it, lets go to the dive shop......

so we head to the dive shop right below our room and jose (the karaoke host from sunday) is there......he's telling me that bryan told him that i might not get into the water......cos duh......i'm freaking scared of the ocean.......but jose insisted that i get some fins "just in case".......

oh yeah, before i go any further.......let me tell you what this Bahama Mama Calypso Cruise entails.......straight from the resort brochure:

• "Our most popular excursion! Sunset snorkel cruise/swim with the sharks. All snorkel equiptment and instruction provided. All-you-can-eat (cold) buffet. All-you-can-drink Bahama Mama Rum Punch, Mango Fruit Punch and a variety of sodas. "Island" style Calypso Cruise with music and dancing."
• Come aboard the "Coral Princess" for the best sunset snorkel/Calypso party cruise south Florida has to offer. First we will cruise out into the Atlantic Ocean to North America's only living coral reef. You may view the wonders of the underwater world through our glassbottom VIEWING PORT, or swim and snorkel along the coral reef. And you MAY even have the opportunity to swim with a family of friendly Nurse Sharks on the reef. The reefs are VERY shallow and our dive instructors are on board to teach you how to snorkel.
• Then, as we cruise along the coastline during the sunset, enjoy our all-you-can-eat cold buffet with unlimited sodas, fruit punch and BAHAMA MAMA RUM PUNCH. Then we cruise along Millionaire's Row where you will see homes of the stars (Oprah, Steven Segal, Tom Selleck). Next get ready for fun as we take you on a MUSICAL journey through the islands of the Caribbean throught music and dance. Join in a conga line, enter the limbo contest and learn some other fun dances from the islands! Just like being in the Bahamas.

so we get me some fins......just in case......and bryan tries to charge the excursion to the room.....and jose is saying that he can't.......good thing i got paid that day.......so we run to the ATM to get money out......and run back to the dive shop......and since bryan booked the room everything is under his name......but since *I* paid for it cos bryan doesn't get paid til the next day......i signed for it......but then bryan got wierded out or something and he signed for it too......which i thought was funny cos we were arguing about it in front of jose......and jose was giving us that "hurry-up-and-sign-the-damn-paper-and-get-out-of-my-dive-shop look"......

we head back up to the room and i'm asking bryan how the meeting went......and he said it was fine......they asked him where his wife was......and he goes......"i don't have a wife, but i have a FRIEND and she's still sleeping"......and i just chuckled at the thought......i could never see myself married to bryan......i'd most likely go insane......we'd so nothing but argue and get on each other's nerves.......lol.....

anyway, he mentioned on the survey about my bed......it was funny cos he said when he came in on monday morning he couldn't see me over the seperator/mantle thing while he was pulling out his bed......he could hear me......but not see me......


>>>>>>>>alright i'm continuing from where i left off last time i wrote<<<<<<<

anyway......me and bryan are talking for a bit.....when he decides to go across the street and what not......i decide to read my book......(yeah, i'm LOTS of fun huh????......i'm on vacation, in florida......and i just wanna read a book i've read a bijillion times.....but hey, it's MY vacation......and yeah, it relaxes me)......

well a few minutes after bryan leaves, the maintenance guys FINALLY decide to show up AFTER bryan gave the hotel a poor review about having me sleep on the floor......so i'm watching the maintenance guys......just to make sure they didn't touch any of bryan's stuff......heaven forbid something of bryan's gets stolen and *I* get blamed for it......so i'm watching them fix my bed and they realize that they need more tools......so they leave for a bit and come back with a drill and drill the shit back together.......and i'm thinking, "why isn't it drilled together already??".......anyway, they fix and leave......and i end up cleaning a bit, AGAIN......

bryan comes back and we're talking....i'm telling him they drilled my bed back together while i'm making my bed.....and then i accidently kick the board AGAIN......luckly since it has now been "ro proof"......it didn't break......thank gawd......i'm just used to having my feet being able to go UNDER my bed......not the case here......

so we're getting ready for our "drunk boat" cruise (as i like to call it)......and we're arguing cos he's telling me that i'm getting in the ocean......and i'm telling him i'm not cos i'm scared......and he's telling me that i won't drown.....yadda yadda yadda......and we head off......

it's kinda cloudy......and a little bit windy......and we get on the bus transfer to get to the little rink-a-dink boat......(which rebecca and jake almost missed.....they got to the bus transfer late and me and bryan we're wondering where they were......the only reason we decided to go on this excursion was to go with them......anyway, they made it last minute)......it's a small boat.....only holding about 45 people......we get on and start sailing away......they're passing out our fins and masks......showing us how to use the equiptment and also passing out life jackets......and bryan and i are still arguing about me getting into the ocean......people thought we were going out or we were married the way we were bickering......because people we asking how long we've been together and what not......when bryan heard people asking me, he stopped arguing with me.....lol

so we get to the snorkel point......and i'm telling one of the ladies how scared i was because i couldn't swim very well......and she said she couldn't swim at all......so we made a pack that we'd both get in the water and have each other's back......which made me less scared (and stupid) for being afraid of the water so much......

bryan was one of the first ones in the water.....the bastard was off like a fish leaving me to fend on my own......so my new buddy and i made sure our life jackets had lots of air in them......we grabbed a noodle to hang on to......and cautiously climbed down the ladder to get into the ocean......bryan looked back at the boat and yelled "ro!!!!!......just jump in!!!!!".......and i looked at him......and he was about 10 feet out and yelled "NOOO!".......me and my new buddy told the crew that we couldn't swim very well, so they told us to hold onto the rope......

now i'm in the ocean......and i am FREAKING out......the water is a little rough cos it's pretty windy.......and i'm just really scared that i would just float away so i'm holding onto the rope......after a few minutes......i let go of the rope......and OH MY GAWD......i'm just freaking out......i was just so scared......so i try to grab the rope but miss it......and i'm just floating.......so i start kicking my feet.......and i decide, "what the hell??"......and put my face down in the water.......i freaked out again......cos i couldn't breathe normally......i forgot i had a tube in my mouth......so i try it again......and breathe through the tube......and OH MY GOSH i was SNORKELING.......IN THE OCEAN!!!!!!.......and i start putting my face down in the water......and kick......and i'm getting all excited seeing the fish and the reef below......it was freaking cool......and then i notice that i'm getting further away from the boat......and i start freaking out again......and put my face down in the water and start kicking back......i get back to the boat.......and i see jake on the ladder.......and it's like he's holding on for dear life......he's worst than i was.....and rebecca is yelling at him to get into the water.......but he's SCARED.......i was next to rebecca yelling to him that *I* can't swim and *I'M* in the ocean.......and he's like......"i'm too scared".......so for rebecca's sake to try and get him in the water i started taunting him......i started yelling "get in the water ARMY!!!!!......you can repel out of helicopters but you can't get in the ocean WITH A LIFEJACKET?!?!?!.......GET IN THE OCEAN!!!!!!!".......and then everyone started yelling at him to get in the ocean......and calling him "army".......and finally he did......after coxing from "positive reinforcement" from the tour group.......

anyway, i'm out in the ocean......i'm snorkeling......AND having fun.......i'm not freaking out much.......but i was getting yucky ocean water in my breathing tube......good gawd......that shit is nasty......i almost got sick in the ocean......good thing i didn't eat or else that would have been really embarrassing.......but still......all i could think about was that nasty ocean taste that i got in my breathing tube cos the waves were starting to get high.......and about that stupid trivia thing that i heard about whales and the amount of sperm they ejaculate in the water and having THAT be the reason the ocean is soooo salty.......

anyway, speaking of the devil......bryan just called and he's on the phone......so i'm going to talk to him.......write some later........

here's a pic from the Bahama Mama Calypso Cruise website that bryan and i went on on tuesday may 31......from left to right......the first circle is rebecca and jake (the honeymooners from oklahoma).......the middle circle is bryan.......and then me doing my "rock \m/ on" symbol....